Why do you sound like a different person depending on who you’re talking to?
Any wonder why we’re exhausted all the time! Here’s the no nonsense breakdown of what’s going on and how to fix it.
You’re texting a friend. Half your words missing. Typos everywhere. Don’t care.
Then a text from your boss or client pops up.
And boom, for one reply you’re a totally different human. Full sentences. Actual punctuation. Who is this guy (or gal)? 🤣
That’s not you being fake, by the way. That’s just any day that ends in Y.
Founders, leaders, and sellers all have a boardroom voice, a closer voice, and a couch-at-9pm voice. Nurses have a take charge voice, then a “girl let me tell you” voice at lunch. Teachers have a classroom voice, then five minutes later a group chat voice that’d get them fired if a parent ever saw it. 😳
We’re all juggling voices all day long. That’s just life.
Except it’s not free. Juggling voices costs something every time, even the ones that go fine. It’s the replay after. What you said. What you should’ve said instead. The reply you’re rewriting in your head at 11pm, or the one you’ve got to go back and repair tomorrow. That’s the regrettable talk tax that adds up faster than people admit.
Here’s what’s actually going wrong.
Some days the wrong voice grabs the mic. Like the guest who taps the glass before the best man’s even finished his toast. Doesn’t wait. Doesn’t read the room. Just grabs the mic, mid-sentence, uninvited.
Here’s what it looks and sounds like every day:
In the board meeting, you get defensive over nothing.
With your team? It’s a sigh that slips out before you even catch it.
A customer? “Well, actually” comes flying out like it pays rent in your mouth.
Your business partner, cut off, mid-sentence, again.
That patient’s family? The charge-nurse voice shows up right when they just needed you to sit down for a second.
The group chat with a parent, and your classroom voice slips out. Lands wrong.
Your sig-o? You’re nodding at dinner but you’re really reading an email.
Your kid. The eye roll happens, yours or theirs, involuntarily.
Same thing happening under every single one of those. That’s what I call getting hijacked. How do I know? 🤬
I’ve had the wrong voice grab the mic in rooms that mattered, more times than I like to admit, and paid for it. A few Career Limiting Moves (CLMs). More than a few gaffs too.
August 2023, 9:47am, I hit send on a challenger email to a CEO. Loaded with every ounce of pressure by me and my leadership. It went about as badly as you’d expect.
I’m not telling you this from the outside looking in. I figured it out. That’s the work. That’s what I do now.
Wait, is this eight problems or just one?
Just one, really. Your inner critic voice gets louder, and it doesn’t check who you’re talking to before it starts running its mouth.
Strip away the boardroom, the classroom, the sales call, the bedtime story. Same thing needed every time. See them. Hear them. Acknowledge them. Add value, when and where it’s appropriate. That’s the whole fix.
Whether it’s teaching, nursing, or selling, it’s all about all four. Leading’s about all four too, helping people grow toward something they actually want. Parenting and partnering are the same thing again: helping someone feel safe enough to tell you the truth. Same job every single time.
It’s really hard to see, hear, or acknowledge anyone when your inner critic is running the show. And it’s next to impossible to add value when that’s the only voice you can hear.
So what actually fixes this?
You don’t need more hours in your day. You definitely don’t need more voices.
Notice which voice has the mic.
Pause half a second before you answer.
Ask yourself: how will I serve the person in front of me?
That’s it. That half second is the whole game. It’s how the inner guide gets stronger, and quiets the inner critic too.
Get that dialed in, and every situation gets the real you. Not the performance, not the scrambled response. The real, steady you, kitchen to boardroom, every day.
Want to go deeper?
Here’s the full practice: Something Is Pulling at Your Progress