You name it, I’ve tried it. The advice, apps, books, blogs, courses, coaches, podcasts, planners, TED Talks, YouTube, somebody else’s morning routine. I spent a lot of time, energy, and money, and wasted a lot more on hacks, tips, tricks, and the elusive motivation.
I read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and became, by every measure, highly effective. Then I fell off the wagon. Got back on. Fell off, got back on. On and on it went. Sure, I picked up bits and pieces and applied them, but very little stuck, because random isn’t a sustainable system.
The knowledge was there. The skills were there, too. I was crushing it, and at the same time I was quietly getting crushed.
Here’s what I was missing: how I showed up in the situations that mattered most.
Looking back I was performing, mostly for other people, and I was always in a hurry. I earned “the money, the house, and the title”. I looked good on paper, and happy too. But there was little joy in the journey, and I ruined relationships that mattered more than all of it.
There wasn’t one defining event or a “big crash” for me. It was a slow burn which was harder to see. It wasn’t the two stretches out of work and between jobs when my kiddos were born. Or the move from Microsoft into a green-tech company. I got fired on New Year’s Day. I was told I f*cked up and that I’d never get back into tech. I got back in at IBM. Then a decade in sales enablement, a front row seat to some of the most dysfunctional, grow-at-all-costs practices, that turned into layoffs and performance plans. Which made the slow burn super sneaky.
Then, on Groundhog Day 2024, I got “let go” for the last time.
Through all of it, I was always looking for ways to improve myself, randomly. Some phases I was struggling and looking for answers. Other phases I was “winning” and thought I was ‘okay’ because I had it figured out. Either way, I carried the same belief: you need a specific ‘problem’ to find an answer.
You know, if you’re struggling with X, you need Y to achieve Z.
What about those who want to get ahead? Where’s that program?
That’s what Everyday Edge is all about, getting ahead while handling whatever life throws your way.
It took me years to learn how to step back from being an active participant to becoming a stronger observer, to see what was really going on, with me and with others. Pattern recognition is my superpower. I’ve used this for years and sometimes like a jerk. I could see exactly what was going on, and I’d say so, clearly and with little regard for others. And you know what happened, it pushed people away, and eroded trust.
I was repelling rather than attracting, doh!
The great news is this is fixable, faster than you can imagine.
What changed was the smallest shift, from Why don’t they get it? to I wonder what I’m missing?
The more curious I became, the more options showed up, and the easier it was to find a solution that actually worked. A simpler path forward with a lot less effort and stress. I call this effortless effort.
Kind curiosity creates change.
The result? I started co-creating the solution with others. Building a plan, and then executing it. That’s where change starts. Sounds simple, because it is when you apply it consistently. That’s what most habit and productivity systems are missing.
This goes back further, before my time in sales and leadership. In college, I studied exercise physiology to train Olympic athletes. Then I saw the bigger need and application to everyone. The idea is this: you don’t have to be elite to perform and live well. This is the heart of the Everyday Edge.
Whether you’re a CEO or someone on the factory floor, we all put our pants on one leg at a time, but that doesn’t mean one size fits all. A win for a CEO is a lot different than a win for an individual contributor, yet the path to get the win requires the same steps.
So where do you want to win more, every day?
Next: What is it? And who is it for? or Jump ahead: Build Your Everyday Edge
Learn more: On February 29, 2024, I launched ResultsLab. [read more]